During the summer we are making our way through the largest chunk of Ordinary Time in the Liturgical year. But one of the coolest things about this time of year is the sheer number of saints’ feast days that we celebrate.
July is full of them – Bonaventure, Benedict, Maria Goretti, Kateri, Thomas the Apostle, Mary Magdalene, Bridget of Sweden, James, Joachim & Anne, Martha & Lazarus, Ignatius of Loyola.
It’s like a who’s who of sainthood! And it’s as if all my friends in heaven have feasts this month! Let me explain.
Maybe you are not familiar with all those names. Until a couple years ago, I wasn’t either. But I felt drawn to learn more about our holy brothers and sisters, to learn their stories, read their words and follow their examples.
First, I learned about the saints who’s names we carry. For example, our daughter’s name is Samantha Ann. There is no saint Samantha, but we began celebrating Anne (July 26), the mother of Mary and grandmother of Jesus, as one of her patrons.
I also began looking up the saints feast days that coincide with all of my family members’ birthdays. This is also a traditional way to find a patron saint. And today is my birthday – July 29th – the feast of Sts. Martha and Lazarus of Bethany.
Lastly, I also began a tradition of randomly picking a saint as a patron for my year. This year it is Ignatius of Loyola (July 31) who has been a powerhouse for me. I’m learning so much about the spiritual life from his teachings.
Last year though, it was Mary Magdalene (July 22) – the sister of Sts. Martha and Lazarus. (Isn’t that funny? I got the whole family!)
I have noticed that as we celebrate the feasts of the family of Bethany, we are often posed the overdone question – Are you more of a Martha or Mary? I’m sure you have heard that phrase before.
Well, I’ve got to tell you, I’m really tired of it. It’s like we have to pigeon hole ourselves into one category – a contemplative like Mary or a person of service like Martha.
Having spent some time now getting to know these two women, it seems like a very surface and cliche viewpoint of the very deep personal relationships each of these women had to our Lord.
Also, there’s the idea of choosing “the better part,” which can sometimes be interpreted that it is more admirable to be like Mary. And then those Marthas in our lives can feel kinda bad about themselves.
Do we really think that Jesus wants his children who have servants’ hearts to feel bad about not being contemplatives? I just don’t think that’s quite what Jesus is trying to get across.
So even though I love my girl Mary Magdalene (honestly, I’m more of a Mary, if I had to answer the question), I want to talk about my birthday patron, Martha, because I think she gets a bad rap. She’s a really great example for us, beyond the commonplace description of her as an example of service. She’s got waaaayyy more to offer us!
So what can we learn from Saint Martha then?
Quite a few things, I think.
First, Jesus loved St. Martha deeply.
St. John tells us, “Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus” (Jn 11:5). Jesus loved these siblings so much that the Evangelist felt it important enough to tell the rest of Christendom all about it. If nothing else, we should look to her as an example of having such a close relationship with the Lord that everyone knows that we love Him and He loves us!
Second, we can learn to open our homes to Jesus as Martha did.
We know that Jesus dined with His crew in the house of Martha a couple times, most importantly just before His Passion. This family of Bethany, their house, was a place of rest and peace for Him. Yes, please!
But here’s the biggest lesson I have learned from St. Martha.
Bring to Him your worries, anxieties, doubts, all of it, and He will give you peace.
The Gospel story from Luke is quite familiar. In fact, we heard it just this past Sunday, the 16th Sunday in Ordinary Time. But take a re-read if you need to. Martha complains to Jesus about her sister not serving. He responds “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and worried about many things.”
Sometimes, when we read this we can interpret it as a reproach. Martha is “reprimanded” by Jesus for her worries and anxieties, and Mary is commended for choosing “the better part.” But…Considering what we know about Jesus, how He communicates with us and how he LOVES, do we really think that He would deflect Martha’s emotions, push aside her struggles with a reprimand?
Jesus does NOT belittle or minimize our pain. Yes, He corrects, but He does so always with gentleness.
Do you know the phrase “active listening” – where the listener is encouraged to echo what the speaker just said, and to rephrase and affirm the speaker in their emotions? When I use this with my kids – “I can see that you are upset with your brother” – it is always more successful than straight out telling them, “well, I agree with your brother on this.”
Think about it – Don’t you feel calmer after someone merely listens and affirms your emotions? Of course you do!
So, as I recently re-read this chapter, I suddenly see a Jesus who is listening attentively to His friend and sees her frustration. He’s not in any way excusing her selfish emotions, but he is acknowledging what she’s dealing with.
Why? Because He knows that we cannot overcome our own emotions at times, that it is hard for us to not think about ourselves, that our frustrations are real and we need help. He’s saying, I see you.
Imagine God the Father, or Jesus, saying to you, I SEE YOU. When God affirms us, it doesn’t just calm us. It restores our peace. And when we are in peace, we can accept correction. Then, He can show us how He sees things.
And the next thing Jesus does is to explain to Martha the situation. Jesus is saying to Martha – you are frustrated, take my peace and know that you have a role to play.
So what does He mean when He says Mary has chosen the better part? Are we to believe that Jesus wants us all to be contemplatives, anointing His feet and sitting by His side. That hardly seems realistic. Nothing would ever get done and sometimes the dinner needs to be cooked and served.
Furthermore, we don’t chose our roles. We are each gifted our roles by God. He has chosen a plan unique for each of us.
Mary hasn’t chosen her role as contemplative, but she has chosen to accept her role, following God’s will for her out of love.
Martha, however, even though she is fulfilling her specific role, her heart is not involved. If Jesus had chosen Mary to be the serving sister, I’m thinking she would’ve followed that path. That’s the key here, I think – To look at what you’ve been called to and to chose it out of love for God.
So Jesus’ take Martha’s complaints, gives her affirmation and the gives correction. And we know this must have been effective. Why do I think this? One simple two word phrase from the Gospel of John.
Just before His entry to Jerusalem, we see Jesus at dinner again at the house of the siblings from Bethany.
“They gave a dinner for him there, and Martha served, while Lazarus was one of those reclining at table with him. Mary took a liter of costly perfumed oil made from genuine aromatic nard and anointed the feet of Jesus.”
John 12: 2-3
Mary anoints Jesus’ feet – big time job! Lazarus is at the table with him – prominent position!
And Martha served – whomp, whomp!
I’m kidding, of course. What I think is important here is what is left unsaid. The Evangelist doesn’t say anything about complaints this time and now we see her sister doing something momentous, not merely sitting around.
Martha is serving, willingly, lovingly, because she has realized her piece of the puzzle. She has realized that her service is allowing something greater to occur. Her sister is anointing Jesus for His redemptive death.
Martha, by accepting God’s will for her life, has essentially been granted a part in the redemptive work of Jesus’ death on the cross.
How? Because she served and her service enabled the plan to take it’s course. Did she know what her role would mean in the grand scheme of things? Probably not. But she trusted Jesus. She accepted His will with peace of heart, knowing that one role is not more important than the other. All parts of the body of Christ are necessary and of equal dignity.
So I don’t think we need to choose between being a Martha or Mary. We get to choose to be an Alexandra, or a John, or a Samantha, or a Matthew, or whatever your name is, because your role is unique and unrepeatable.
BUT if we happen to experience anxiety or worry about our role, we know from Martha, that we can turn to our Lord with our complaints and He will offer us peace. He will say, I SEE YOU, which will allow us to embrace our role in joy.
St. Martha, pray for us, that we may embrace our unique role in God’s plan for humanity.
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