Last weekend, my husband and I attended a comedy show at Madison Square Garden in New York City. The opener was a comedian I didn’t know named Pat McGann. His material started out funny but quickly turned ugly. He mentioned that he’s “Catholic,” the religion in which nuns beat students and priests molest children, but we don’t ever leave. As his act went on, he did a bit about Holy Communion, and made a sexual joke about receiving the Body of Christ on his tongue.
And I felt PAIN! I’m not exaggerating. I felt actual pain as my heart broke for Jesus. Then my righteous anger flared and I was plotting all the ways that I was going to defend Jesus and attack this man’s career.
Anyway, in prayer my anger subsided and was replaced by sadness and something that I can only imagine is mercy.
This is not a normal emotion for me. I’m good at angry. I basically realized that Jesus didn’t need my anger but this man’s soul needed prayers. And much against my own will, I found myself praying for this man.
Peace came back to my heart, but it was short-lived because the next day…
Mr. Cuomo passed his new abortion law and we all know this story. Then my sadness and heartache and anger, came back, but much, much deeper.
Both of these episodes from two different self-professed “Catholics” got me wondering – Why do people claim to be Catholic, despite the fact that their lives are so very far from actually being Catholic?
It has nothing to do with actual religion or a relationship with God. As much as we talk about accepting everyone in our culture, and saying that race, gender, and creed don’t matter, we spend an awful lot of energy on expressing our identity. Find your identity. Live your identity. Figure out who you are. And I think that “Catholic” has become just another identifier, just another adjective – like Italian, New Yorker, liberal, etc
Yet I find this so odd, because today being Catholic is not a badge of honor, is it?
Look at our religion – for all intents and purposes, it’s a complete mess. To the outside world, being Catholic, at best, is an embarrassment, at worst it’s criminal.
So why? Why would a comedian who mocks and blasphemes, a governor who blatantly fights against major tenets of our faith, or anyone else who doesn’t abide by the faith, why would they continue to claim that they are Catholic?
As I wrestled with these questions, I began to think that the word “Catholic” has power. After all, the word literally means “universal” because it is meant for all. No one is excluded. But also, Catholic has the power of Jesus Christ behind it (whether one acknowledges this or not). He’s the one who created the universal church. To give it up completely would mean turning your back on Jesus completely.
And I truly believe that somewhere deep down each of us knows that. I think Mr. McGann knows that. And I think Mr. Cuomo knows that. And I think Mr. McGann WANTS to be Catholic. And I think Mr. Cuomo WANTS to be Catholic – because their hearts WANT Jesus, even though they can’t or won’t acknowledge this.
Every last one of us has turned our backs on Jesus.
Whether we do it in huge, public, visible ways, or quiet, private, concealed ways, the result is the same. Sin, big or small, rejects Jesus, injures our relationship, and scourges His flesh, just as if we were there 2000 years ago.
I have strayed and I have turned away. I have wounded my savior personally. Yet, here I am writing a blog about my relationship with Jesus, my true, deep love for my God.
St. Paul persecuted. St. Paul imprisoned. St. Paul murdered. Yet, here we are today celebrating the feast of his conversion.
If there is a place for me in the church, and there is room in the church for St. Paul, then I must be merciful, and admit that there is still room in our church for Mr. McGann and Mr. Cuomo, and for each and every one of us who denies Jesus through word or deed.
On this feast of the conversion of St. Paul, let us pray for all those who mock, blaspheme, and persecute Jesus and the Church. Let us pray for all sinners that they may have a conversion of heart and turn towards the open arms of our merciful savior. And let us ask Jesus to give us mercy in our own heart toward those who have strayed. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
2 Comments
Sr. Marie Pappas
Wow! I myself had a physical reaction to Governor Cuomo’s promotion of abortion up to the moment before the completed entrance of the child into the breathing space of our human community.
I sat before my computer trying to find words to respond to his celebratory announcement. I had none. I did wrestle with some, but none of my words seemed adequate to the horror. Eventually I fell into my introversion. How can this man bear responsibility for this? He is in a position to do so much good . . . but he hasn’t. Why choose such political darkness? How long can God be patient? I know the answer because I know He is a faithful God even when we aren’t. In God’s patience, there are many infant martyrs. Many adults, siblings and a whole human community is suffering, lost, defensive, self-righteous, sad, angry, grieved, confused, . . . so far from the happiness God intended for each and everyone of us. In the world community, we are the only people, we New Yorkers, who have gone this far! What infamy! We have begun our own reign of terror. When and how will it end?
I just finished reading two books: Praying for Priests: An Urgent Call for the Salvation of Souls, and its earlier subtitle, A Mission for the New Evangelization. I followed this reading with a book by Bob Bennett: Bad Shepherds: The Dark Years in Which the Faithful Thrived While Bishops did the Devil’s Work. In just such circumstances, Bennett observes that there were also many more saints than figures of darkness and evil in such times. I see that Catholic writers are responding to the crisis of our times. We are so far from where we need to be. As you yourself wrote, the Governor and the Comedian both want more; I believe their being cries for something more than this. What can and are we doing to move away from disintegration, toward wholeness, integration, peace and the solidarity of lived faith? Both authors proposed both prayer and action. You instinctively prayed (I froze! – at least on the spot). Will you send each of the men your blog? Just wondering . . . Prayer generally inspires action. Thank you for giving voice to your faith-filled witness of what is dark. People like yourself are a candle of hope in the darkness. Keep writing!
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Sister – Thank you for your kind words. I agree that no words seem adequate to address this situation. And I had quite a similar reaction – when will this end?! And what can we do? And it feels hopeless. We must pray. I don’t know what else to do. It’s the only way to hold onto hope and to remember that we thrive in the face of persecution. There are saints rising among us! Will I send them this post? I hadn’t really thought of it. I did send a personal email to the comedian, so that’s a start.