Plus a FREE ebook, Creating a Life of Prayer, to download at the end of the post!
So there I was, about 2 years ago, sitting in a priest’s office, and he explains to me that I need a “Rule” for life. A what?! Are you speaking Latin? I don’t understand what you are saying.
A few days before, I had walked into the confessional with our new associate pastor, and he offered to meet with me to give me spiritual direction. I didn’t even know I needed a spiritual director or what one does when meeting with one. But I took him up on the offer.
When we met the first time, he said, naturally, how can I help you? My response was something like, “Ummmmm…I don’t know…I guess I don’t know how to pray.”
Sounds so ridiculous, right?! How do I not know how to pray?
But really, I knew how to pray. I just didn’t realize that I was in fact praying. Going to Mass and confession is praying! Reading the daily readings and saying a Morning Offering is praying! And these were all things that I was already doing.
I think what I really meant was: I need help with a routine.
I was all over the place. One day I might say a Morning Offering and then forget for days on end. I might attend daily Mass 3 times in one week, once the next week, then off a few weeks. I might pick up the Bible, craving some word from God, but have no clue where to start.
And it felt like I wasn’t doing anything worthwhile or well. Which was, of course, a lie from the enemy to try to get me to give up. So God knew I needed some direction.
So back to that “Rule” he mentioned. It is basically a routine for your prayer life. A Rule helps to keep things consistent and build one’s spiritual life, sort of like a training routine would help us get in shape physically.
It is based on monastic life when the monks days were ordered by a Rule to keep their prayer life on a routine. (The most famous Rule is that of St. Benedict, who is considered the “father of Western monasticism.” Maybe that’s more information than you need, but that’s where this idea comes from.)
So, Father jotted down a basic routine for me.
I’m going to give him the benefit of the doubt and imagine he was trying to challenge me. Because it went something like this for my suggested daily routine…
- Morning prayers to include: Morning Offering, Act of Faith, Hope and Love, Prayer of Abandonment and some others
- Mass Readings and/or other Scripture reading
- 20-30 minutes of mental prayer/meditation/contemplation
- Rosary
- Examination of Conscience
And most of this would be best done in the morning before I wake up the kids! HAHAHAHAHAHA!! (If you have young kids, I know you are laughing with me right now.) That’s a lot of prayer in one day for a beginner layperson with 3 kids!
But this is what I realized: This was a goal, an ideal, not a starting point, and I’m still not there yet!
Together, we worked through what I could manage, a little bit at a time. And even over the course of the last two years, my rule has adapted as life situations have changed. So I thought I would share with you what my rule looks like today.
And this is an ideal day – each day may look a little different, due to the variables in day to day life. And some days I just completely fail altogether. With that being said…
Father’s suggestion that I wake in the morning for prayer was smart advice. (Although not without struggles!)
Think about it – Don’t most fitness training programs suggest doing workouts in the morning? There’s no difference with prayer. Why? Because you actually get it done. You most likely have the most energy/focus. And it sets the tone for your day. And with prayer, it focuses your day on God, who should be the center of our lives.
Taking his advice, I have found that my morning prayer routine has become the most consistent. During the school year, I prefer to wake up about 20-30 minutes before the kids. In the summer, I’ve been sleeping in and doing it after I make breakfast and kids are playing. And this is always done with coffee in hand!!! Here’s what I do…
- Morning Offering (I actually do this in bed before I even get up!)
- Prayers – Act of Faith, Hope & Love, Act of Contrition and Prayer of Abandonment (Sometimes I throw in the Litany of Trust by the Sisters of Life)
- Using the Magnificat, I pray Morning Prayer and then read the daily Mass readings. If any inspirations come to me, or if any phrases jump out at me from the readings, I try to jot them down in a journal to come back to when I have time for reflection.
I have some weekly and monthly goals for my rule as well. I don’t always hit these goals, but I try.
- Daily Mass – at least once, but preferably twice per week
- Adoration – I love to do this once a week, but usually happens every other week
- Confession – monthly while meeting with my spiritual director, although I will go sooner if something is really bothering me
Other things I am now working on incorporating into a routine…
- Reflection and Prayer Journaling – as I mentioned, I jot down things as they come. I use the journal as needed, when something is brewing in my prayers but I would like to be more consistent with this.
- Daily examination of the day, called the Examen. It is a look over the whole day in gratitude and recognizing the ways that God is acting in your life. I could use the journal time to do this actually. Right now I usually do this before falling asleep, which isn’t the most productive.
- Rosary – this should be a daily thing but I can’t yet seem to manage it. I have found that praying along to rosary podcasts helps me a lot. But again, I am very inconsistent with this.
In the evenings, we do prayers as a family before the kids go to bed. Currently, it looks like this (kids are 9, 7 and 4) – we spend about a minute quietly thinking on our day. Then, we share those things in our day that we are most grateful for, and state any special intentions. We then pray a Hail Mary, the Guardian Angel prayer, the St. Michael Prayer. And we end with a litany of our favorite saints. Occasionally, we will also do a decade of the Rosary.
So as I write this out, it seems like a lot actually! But I want to reiterate that it took me quite some time to build up to this.
So why do I share this with you?
Well, I’d like to inspire you to develop your own prayer routine, of course!
I want you to get spiritually fit! I want you to grow in your relationship with God, and to know and see that God is always near and acting in your life.
To help you get started with your own Rule, I have created an ebook for you!
You can download it here.
The book explains what a Rule is. It will then take you through a self- assessment, in which you’ll look over your normal daily routine and your personality traits to help you think through the best plan for you.
There are 3 pages that you can print and take notes and then list out your plan.
At the end I also include some suggestions on types of prayers/devotions and a page of resources to get started.
One word, however, before you dive in (and I reiterate this in the ebook)…
In order for our relationship with God to grow, we must begin with the sacraments, where we receive sanctifying grace to grow in holiness. If you are not currently attending Sunday Mass, or you haven’t been to confession in a while, I would suggest you begin your routine there. All personal prayer is secondary in importance to attending the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass on Sundays and going to regular confession.
So…are you ready to start? Download your ebook now! And if you have any questions at all, please feel free to email me anytime.
St. Benedict, pray for us as we develop our Rule for life!!
