I have been having difficulty sleeping the last few weeks, as I mentioned last post, lying awake for hours in the middle of the night. During this sleeplessness I’ve begun reciting the rosary. Something about the repetition and meditative nature eventually lures me back to sleep.
In his book, The World’s First Love, Venerable Bishop Sheen explains that with every Hail Mary we are essentially “saying to God, the Trinity, to the Incarnate Savior, to the Blessed Mother: I love you, I love you, I love you.” And he gives a beautiful description of the power of the rosary to calm the soul:
“The very rhythm and sweet monotony induce a physical peace and quiet and create an affective fixation on God…You will be surprised how you can climb out of your worries, bead by bead, up to the very throne of the Heart of Love Itself.”
The World’s First Love, Fulton J. Sheen, pg 214-5
That’s certainly what I have found, Bishop Sheen!
One night recently as I prayed during my sleeplessness, I had the very distinct impression that Our Blessed Mother was there with me in that moment. I suddenly recalled how, after I would have a nightmare as a child, my mother would sit on the side of my bed and stroke my hair over and over again. That rhythmic, calming motion would eventually help me drift back to sleep. And now I imagined that Mary was stroking my hair as I prayed her rosary.
Mary was showing me that she has always been with me, that she has always been my Mother.
Even as a child she was with me during those times my own mother comforted me. Because in some way all women can reflect the perfection of Mary in our own motherly roles.
This story is a great example of what Fulton Sheen wrote in his book about all women:
“Woman is made for the sacred. She is Heaven’s instrument on earth. Mary is the prototype, the pattern-woman who fulfills in herself the deepest aspirations of the heart of every daughter of Eve.”
Ch 6, pg 89
We are all called to mother as Mary does. As imperfectly as we do this, Mary loves perfectly. Our Blessed Mother loves us as if we were her only child – other Christs. She loves us wholeheartedly and does not want anything to disturb us.
I have often had a difficult time growing close to Mary, but I keep trying. And in her goodness she continues to give me complete reassurance of her motherly love and caring, and I’m reminded of her words to St. Juan Diego,
“Do not be troubled or weighed down with grief. Do not fear any illness, anxiety or pain. Am I not here who am your mother?“
From the very first week of quarantine I have found myself drawn to our Holy Mother.
I have been leaning on her as I haven’t before, especially when I need comfort, reassurance, security, or advice. This week I have been feeling especially frustrated. Generally, I’m finding it difficult to exercise the virtue of hope the longer our situation persists. And now I have been feeling disconnected from God and have been experiencing dryness and distraction in prayer.
So in my depressed mood, I reached out to a couple friends to ask if they wanted to pray the rosary this week.
By the time we had finished, I found I was feeling lighter and more joyful than I have felt in quite a few days. Mary had come through!
As Bishop Sheen explains, so few of us actually know what we should ask for from God. We do not always ask for the right thing. Or we do not know what we need or even realize our need for God at times.
“We are at the end of our strength and even of our hope; and we do not know that we ought to be asking for Divine strength and Divine love…
That is where devotion to Mary comes in…One thing is certain – no one will ever call on her without being heard or without being finally led to her Divine Son, Jesus Christ, for Whose sake she alone exists – for whose sake she was made pure – and for Whose sake she was given to us.”
Ch. 9, pg 121
Many of us are probably having a hard time finding God through all this mess. We have creeping doubts and endless questions. It might be difficult to hear His voice above the voice of worry and anxiety. Maybe we are having a hard time dealing with the loneliness and the void of our community. Perhaps we have lost a loved one and cannot find closure to the grief.
Whatever the hard thing is that we are experiencing, Our Mother has lived it all. Again listen to the words of Venerable Sheen:
“God will permit sorrows, griefs and dolors to His Christians, but they will only be pinpricks of the sword compared to what He suffered and Mary endured. The sword that Christ ran into His Own heart and Mary’s soul has become so blunted by the pressings that it can never wound so fiercely again.”
Ch. 21, pg 270
I have become quite convinced that Our Blessed Mother will be instrumental in helping us all through this pandemic.
I encourage you to rest your wearied, worried self in the gentle, embracing arms of Mary. She is our comfort and our guide, our support and our counsel. Mary will both lead us to her Divine Son and she will grow His life within each of us. She is Our Mother – our life, our sweetness and our hope.
To finish her words to St. Juan Diego:
“Are you not under my shadow and protection? Am I not your fountain of life? Are you not in the folds of my mantle? In the crossing of my arms? Is there anything else you need?”
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us!
And Happy Mother’s Day to all mothers, grandmothers, aunts, godmothers, step-mothers, adoptive mothers, spiritual mothers and any other motherly role. I pray that you find a friend in Mary and I pray that your life will emulate hers in self-sacrificing love and following God’s will.
Have you heard of a Mary garden? Do you have one at your home?
I just learned of this idea a couple years ago and I’m creating one in our backyard. It’s a nice reminder of Our Holy Mother and a comforting sight when I glance into our yard. I will be adding some pictures and information to my social media accounts (Instagram, Facebook) if you’d like to get some ideas about creating your own garden.
